Emma Christmas Mash-Up!

vs.

Ready.... FIGHT!

Christmas in the new Library

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A Hive Queen Ant?  Seriously?  Ugh.

Everything Revisited

I had a thought about Julian Assange this morning that I think must’ve been motivated by the fact that the guy just isn’t as entertaining anymore as he once was.  The interesting leaks have all but stopped, and in their place, we have to continually hear about what a bad lover he is and how he intentionally breaks condoms before having sex with casual female acquaintances.  So I’m not feeling as charitable as I once was, leading me to the following thought:

It’s a mistake for the US to try to charge Assange under criminal law.  After all, he’s not a US citizen, and what he did might therefore be rather difficult to try.  However, one could easily make the case that he’s a non-state actor, and that his actions were an Act of War.  In which case, he could be detained indefinitely—or at least until he makes personal reparations to the United States—as an Enemy Combatant.  Now, that would be an interesting case because Assange is an Australian, and no doubt, the Australian government would object to his detention on those grounds.  Obviously, they’d want to repatriate him—but without condoning his actions.  Thus, it’s possible that the Australians could charge him for treason against its allies, a charge that I think they might make stick.  I think that’d solve the US’s problems nicely. 

Of course, the thick heads in Washington always want to come across all scary and intimidating, so they’ll no doubt ignore the savvy solution—again—but that doesn’t change the fact that it exists. 

For example, I’ve never understood why they need to try all these 9/11 guys who’re in Guantanamo when the obvious solution is to declare them mentally insane and lock them up—for their own protection, obviously—in a secure Upstate mental facility, thereby discrediting their ideology in front of the world’s lunatic fringe.  *sigh*  Sadly, that sort of thing is a lost art anymore. 

But seriously, if you’re gonna violate a guy’s civil rights—and I’m not saying that you should or you shouldn’t—you should at least do it in a way that furthers your cause.

***

I read two books this week, and they’re a study in contrasts.  The first was George R.R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones.  Great book, but long.  I mean, it’s 800-pages of densely packed medieval fantasy goodness.  A lot happens.  A LOT.  Without getting into it too much, I think it’s probably the best fantasy book I’ve ever read in terms of its take on the politics of a feudal empire.  At 800-pages, Martin gives himself the space to really explore all the angles, and that, more than anything, is what makes the book work.  I really enjoyed it, but it was also a slog that made my eyes tired. 

On the side was the new hardcover (HC) Grant Morrison/Frank Quietly Batman & Robin: Batman Reborn.  To recap briefly, DC ran an event recently where Bruce Wayne, aka the Batman, gave his life to save the world.  So Batman Reborn follows Dick Grayson, the original Robin, as he sheds his Nightwing persona in order to take up the mantle of Batman.  And as with A Game of Thrones, a LOT happens. 

I tend to like Morrison’s work, especially when he works with Quietly, and I think the two of them are right on their game here.  The book is interesting, the villains are disturbing, and there’s a nice tension between Grayson and the new Robin, Damian Wayne, who’s Bruce’s illegitimate son by Talia Al Ghul (for those who don’t read the comics: she’s the daughter of the villain from the movie Batman Begins).  But here’s my issue: the whole thing is rushed.  I mean, not the execution of this particular story, but in general, the whole idea of Bruce Wayne being killed, Nightwing taking the Batman mantle to keep his mentor’s legacy alive in Gotham, and the development of Damian Wayne…  it’s all good stuff.  But it’s rushed.  We get maybe 6 or so issues of Nightwing-as-Batman, and then suddenly Bruce Wayne is reincarnated (ugh), and now, once again, here’s Big Brother, watching over everyone’s shoulder and making sure that everything is going to be alright.  Suspense?  No.  Watching as the odd-couple-in-training becomes a true partnership?  Forget it.  I mean, they could’ve gotten YEARS of play out of these ideas, and back in the 80s they would have, but these days it’s all hurry, hurry, hurry!  We’ve got to have the next mega-event, multi-title story arc.  No time for all that character crap now.  When’s Blackest Night?  When’s Brightest Day?  How soon can we start Batman, Inc.?

And these guys wonder why no one is buying comics anymore.  Why should they?  Any story decision is just gonna be overwritten by the next writer.  There’re no lasting consequences for the characters, and in the long run, that kills the story.  Why worry if Batman dies?  You know he’ll be back, probably before the Christmas buying season.  After all, we wouldn’t want to miss out on the sales peak.

But what do I know about it?  I’m only a reader anymore.  Hell, I wouldn’t even be that if it weren’t for my kids and their nascent interest in the Batman.

***

Saw the new Tron: Legacy.  I thought it was cool, but the 3D hurt my eyes after about a half-hour, and I still can’t quite rap my head around the idea of a computer system having weather and ground-effect from thrusters.  Still, I liked the way they stuck with the iconic images from the original movie.  Tron might be a goofy idea, but it was at least a goofy idea that was well-rendered.

I’m hoping to get out to see Tangled his weekend with the girls.  Maybe the 24^th.  I guess we’ll see.  Christmas gets so crazy; hopefully it won’t be like that this year.

If I’ve not said it already, have a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year.

Christmas Letter 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

Spring and summer have come and gone, and cold weather is once again upon us.  This past summer was a hot one, so that Sally and I found ourselves longing for the breezes of autumn more than once.  But now that temperatures are back down under freezing, and we’ve seen our first snowflakes of the season in Connecticut, I find myself thinking back with longing to those last sweaty days of August and the longer days that now seem almost like memories from a former life.

2010 was a good year for our family—a year of growth and change but also of stability and love and general improvement.  For me, the year’s highlights included getting a new job with my company’s System Operations department and finishing my third full season of triathlon, this time without a major illness or injury.  Over the course of the season, I did two tough Olympic distance races and a host of shorter Sprints.  I even won my age group once.  As a family, we managed to take a camping trip over a long weekend, get out for maybe a half-dozen bike rides on some of Connecticut’s beautifully restored rail-trails, and travel down to Tennessee for a week with my mother.  In the meantime, there’s been work and barbequing, and all the rest of the stuff that goes along with being a husband, father, and house-owner, the everyday things that make up a life.  I’m slowly learning to cook, and I suppose, becoming more and more domesticated every single year.  I confess that I’m kind of enjoying the process.

I think Sally’s been about ten times busier than me.  Girl Scout leader, church and library volunteer, elementary school room mother, and even… refinisher of our new library.  Yes, in late summer Sally said she wanted to turn our den into a library, complete with newly refinished window frames, hardwood accoutrements, and solid oak shelves.  And she wanted to do all the work herself.  What a project!  But I’ve got to admit that now that the work is almost done, the room looks absolutely fantastic, and I’m super-proud of her.  And yeah, oh by the way, Sally also ran the Fairfield Half-Marathon in just over two hours this past summer, and she started Hannah’s new Brownie Girl Scout Troop from scratch.  Truth is that my wife is a seriously amazing woman, and I’m just lucky as heck to have her in my life.

The kids, of course, are great.  Hannah’s seven and in second grade.  She reads or draws everything in sight, and if that doesn’t work, she’ll sing to it or even dance on top of it.  These days, she’s become an avid fan of mystery stories, especially the ABC Mysteries series and the various Scooby Doo cartoon movies.  Emma is five and in kindergarten, and I thank God Almighty that she’s recently discovered Batman and comic books.  Sometimes Emma will even sit down to watch football with me.  I joke with Sally that after almost eight years of marriage and parenting, I now finally have someone to talk to!

And that’s the news from the Head family.  I hope you and yours have a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year.

Love,

Dan, Sally, Hannah, and Emma

Storytelling 101, Lesson 1: What is a Story

My 7-year-old daughter recently asked me to teach her how to write a story.  Here was my first lesson for her.

What is a Story?

A story is a narrative about change.  Put simply, Something Happens, and our Hero can no longer live in the world as it currently is.  He or she must overcome obstacles in order to make things better, hopefully leaving the world a better place in the process.

Characters and Plot

There are many elements that make up a story, but the two primary elements are Characters and Plot.

Characters are the actors of a story.  We call a story’s main character its protagonist or hero.  It is the protagonist’s job to overcome the obstacles in our story and resolve the story’s conflict. 

If our story’s primary obstacle is another character, then we call that character the antagonist or villain.  It is the villain’s job to stand in the way of the hero, making it harder for the hero to accomplish her goals and get what she wants.

A story’s plot or conflict is the method by which its action is driven. 

Recall that the essence of a successful story is change.  A story’s plot, then, is the sequence of events that drives that change.  Or, to put it another way, the plot is the idea of the hero’s wanting or needing something, in company with the obstacles that stand in the way of her having it. 

For example, in the movie The Little Mermaid, the protagonist, Princess Ariel, wants to be human.  But there are many obstacles that stand in her way: her father, the dishonesty of the wicked octopus Ursula, the physical impossibility of a mermaid becoming a human, Ariel’s lack of familiarity with the things of the human world…  Many, many things stand in the way of Princess Ariel’s becoming human.  Thus, given Ariel’s desire to become human and the obstacles that stand in her way, we might paraphrase the movie’s plot as so:

The Little Mermaid is the story of Ariel, a mermaid princess whose longing to be human leads her to strike a bargain with the wicked witch Ursula, only to discover that in the end, Ursula plans to double-cross Arial for her own evil purposes.

The preceding statement, called a pitch statement, is a one-sentence synopsis of a story’s plot.  Although it lacks detail, it still tells us everything we need to know because it quickly summarizes:

·         Who the hero is

·         What the hero wants

·         The main obstacle that will stand in the hero’s way

To again put it another way, the pitch statement tells us not only who a story’s main character is, it also tells us why we—as an audience—should care about the story.  It tells us what makes this story special.  That, the thing that makes the story special, is the essence of plot.  It is not surprising, then, that learning to develop pitch statements for stories with which you are already familiar is a very useful exercise for beginning writers.  Knowing how to find what makes another writer’s stories work is a very good way for new writers to discover what it is in their own stories that will be of interest to their own audiences.

Exercises

1.        Think of five movies or books with which you are familiar.  Write down the names of stories below, along with the names of their protagonists.

2.        Briefly summarize the plot for your favorite two stories from the list above.  What did the main characters want?  What were the main obstacles that stood in their way?

3.        Pick one of the plots above.  Write a one-sentence pitch statement for that story.

Hint: Your pitch statement should have a basic structure similar to the following: 

Because she wants _________, (The Protagonist) does ___________, only to discover _________________.

In Search of Comics for Girls

While we're talking this morning, let me tell you my problem.  My kids have recently discovered comics.  That's good.  But they're girls, ages 7 and 5.


I ask you: what can they read that's good?

Green Lantern Trailers

Hey Alan,

You asked what I thought of the Green Lantern trailer.  Well, bottom line, I thought it looked like they decided to re-shoot Green Lantern: First Flight using live actors.  Here.  Look for yourself:

You tell me?  Same movie?  Shot from the same script?

And I liked First Flight when I saw it on Netflix, but I don't know if I liked it enough to see it again, and that's even before mentioning that the art looked better in the original.  All those CGI critters aren't my idea of a great move.

A Little Bit About Everything

Alright, so it’s been awhile.  I’m sure the pair of you reading this mighty blog must be a touch upset.  Well, the fact is that I’m still in shock at how badly the Titans’ season has gone since they picked up Randy Moss.  I mean, I don’t know that I thought that they’d be GREAT with Moss, but I certainly thought they’d be better than they’ve been.  Five game losing streak, anyone?  Seriously, it’s been hard to be a Titans fan this season.  Really hard.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about Wikileaks.  And look, there’re really only two things to say here.  First, I can’t for the life of me understand why the government is freaking out so badly about the cables being released.  I’ve been following the story pretty closely, mostly via The Guardian’s news coverage, and although I’ll admit to finding a lot of the cables fascinating, the fact is that there’s very little there that’s actually news.  In fact, I’d say that at least 95% of that stuff has already appeared elsewhere in the press, and the remaining 5% is innocuous.  And Hell, most of it promises to be actively HELPFUL for the US’s diplomacy efforts.  For example, it was news to me that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and Russian Premier Vladimir Putin are apparently close personal friends.  I don’t say that I find it surprising because there’s a sleazy sort of “me first” attitude wafting off of both men, and with that in mind, it makes sense that they might see something familiar in each other, but with that said, I didn’t actually know that they were friendly until I read it in The Guardian’s Wikileaks extracts. 

Also: I’d no idea that the Saudis have been pushing for air strikes on Iran.  I mean, it’s not surprising considering that Saudi Arabia and Iran share neither language nor culture nor history nor ethnicity, and they have only the most bare-bones facets of their religions in common, but still… I mean, you get a lot of pan-Islamic bullshit out of both places, no?  A lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth. 

But really, is it surprising that the Saudis want the US to strike Iran?  No.  Not at all.  With Sadaam out of the way, there’s really nobody left in the region to check Iranian dreams of hegemony, save the US, and the US isn’t as easy to influence as was Sadaam.  Come to think of it, the Saudis have to be sort of pissed at how things have worked out, and they’re probably just as pissed that the US Air Force hasn’t struck yet.  Not that they’d ever admit it.  Which is why this leak is actually good.  Now, the Saudis’ actual position is out in the open, and we can start to get past the aforementioned pan-Islamist bullshit that provides so much cover for so many of the bad guys of the world.

Which brings me to the second thing that surprises me about the leaks: that the government thinks that they can somehow throw Wikileaks’ founder in jail!  What’s he done, exactly?  I read that some dumb-ass senator wanted to bring Julian Assange up on charges of Treason, but you know, Assange isn’t an American.  You can’t charge a foreigner with Treason.  So maybe they can somehow charge him with violating the Espionage Act, but again, that strikes me as a little disingenuous.  I mean, they could probably charge him with Possession of Marijuana while they’re at it, but I’ve never heard of a warrant being served for something like that on a guy living in Europe.  It’s a little like having the Chinese government attempt to enforce a ban of falungong in Central Park.  I mean, I suppose they can try, but it’d be weird if it actually stuck in court.  When we get to the point where we can throw foreigners in jail for mouthing off to the government, it’ll be really scary, you know what I mean?  Because bottom line, if those guys in government wanted to keep their secrets, then they probably should’ve kept their secrets, you know, secret.  Not that there’ve been any actual secrets released—because there haven’t been—but apparently it’s the principle of the thing.  And with that in mind, it seems to me that the over-riding principle in play is the right to Freedom of Speech, the most sacrosanct right that Americans possess.  Failing that, I’ve no idea what we’re fighting for.  Freedom becomes a nebulous concept when you can’t sort of say and do the things that you want to—freely. 

But, you know, maybe I’m just getting old.  I can’t much understand what makes people mad anymore.  It all seems mighty strange to me.  Interesting.  But really, really weird.

***

I got the Greg Rucka Batwoman harcover (“Elegy”) from the Fairfield library on Saturday, and boy, was it ever better than I thought it was gonna be!  I really enjoyed it.

First off, I gotta admit that I HATED the concept of Batwoman.  I don’t know if you’re familiar with the character concept, but maybe 24 months ago, DC Comics made a big, splashy announcement that they were introducing a new character, Batwoman, and she was gonna be gay.  Fanboys rejoice!  Seriously, it seemed like all the worst things about comics rolled up into one shiny package.  Ridiculous, unrealistic play for a new minority readership?  Check.  Equally ridiculous hyper-sexuality geared to the prurience of 30-something male troglodytes too afraid to buy Hustler Magazine like normal adults?  Check again.  Gratuitous use of the Batman in order to sell even more of the same crap to the dumbest 10% of the hard core fanbase?  Yes, yes, yes!  Package it all in an over-priced hardcover?  Heh.  Why the Hell not?

So anyway, I really like Greg Rucka’s writing.  He created and wrote one of my favorite titles of all time, Oni Press’s now defunct espionage thriller Queen and Country.  I gather that he’s also a successful crime fiction novelist, but I confess that I’ve never read any of his prose work.  Regardless, Batwoman works for much the same reason that Queen and Country worked.  In both titles, Rucka creates a strong female character, one who’s driven by understandable internal conflict amongst a fantastic but fun external storyline.  His woman are tough without coming across as men-with-boobs—like characters such as Wonder Woman and Red Sonja so often do—and I think that pulling that off is pretty impressive, especially in a character who’s an out-and-out dyke, like Batwoman is. 

And she is a dyke.  Hell, that’s why the story works.

Thrown out of West Point shortly after Ring Weekend for refusing to pretend to be straight, Kate Kane is an angry young woman whose life is meaningless.  There’s a lot of other stuff working there, but bottom line, Kate is a woman who wants her life to be something more than unfocused rage, but she can’t find an outlet… until the day that Batman almost saves her from a mugging.  I say “almost” because, being a kick-ass girl hero, Kate hardly needs saving.  But Batman’s there, and he offers her a hand up when she falls to the ground.  After that, one thing leads to another, and well… I won’t spoil it for you.  There’s some sex and some violence, and thankfully, Kate wears pants and short hair in every scene.  She comes across tough, and that worked for me.  I really dug it.

My one criticism is in the art.  The artist, J.H. Williams, draws a heavily photo-referenced style in the main story, and it comes across stiff in places.  I mean, it’s beautiful and realistic, but there’s not much action or motion there, and that’s a problem because the script is action-heavy.  Williams covers it with some really creative two-page spread layouts, but while that’s fine for the art aficionados, those of us who’re regular action junkies like to see the occasional skull crack.  Personally, I much prefer the more cartoonish throwback style that Williams uses in the flashback sequences in the book’s later half—they’re highly reminiscent of the style used in Frank Miller’s classic Batman: Year One mini-series—but I suppose that wouldn’t have sold as many hardcover copies.  The majority execution looks glossy and expensive, almost like an issue of Vanity Fair, and I’m quite sure that that was better for the book’s bottom line.

Even with that one quibble with the art, I still strongly recommend the book to comic fans.  The West Point sequences are spot-on, and the rest of it is well executed, too.  Really, it’s a great read, and there’s not much else to say.  Ask your library to order it.  That’s my recommendation.

***

I get letters from parents every once in a while.  I put up an article on a triathlon website with some swimming training theory about 18 months ago along with a few sample workouts, and now I get parents emailing me maybe once every three months to ask if their kids shouldn’t be doing something similar to MY workouts instead of what their kids’ own coaches have them doing.  But although I always try to take time to respond at some length—because, bottom line, I don’t want to duck the question but I also don’t think that anyone could answer it without knowing both the kids and the coaches in question—I don’t think I’m telling these parents what they want to hear. 

Which is to say that I never hear back from these people.  What’s up with that? 

First, why in Hell would anyone email a total stranger for workouts for their kids, and second, if someone does email a stranger for workouts, and they actually get a response that involves real thought, isn’t that worth a reply?  Even if the reply is simply, “Thanks, but that was more information than I wanted?”

I know I said this before, but I really do not understand people.  Emailing some guy on the Internet is NOT going to make your kid a faster swimmer.  But if it could, I mean, the reply email couldn’t possibly be a short one.  You see that, right?  That actually makes sense?  Swimming is, like, a whole sport.  They have swimming in the Olympics and everything.

*sigh*

***

While we’re talking about sports, I gotta confess that outside of my commute, I’ve not been on my bike or done anything athletic at all since about mid-October.  Ugh, I know.  At first, it was just a knee ache, but then I got lazy.  And then it got cold.  And then I fell.  And actually, now my doctor thinks I might have a torn meniscus in my right knee.  Eh.  I’m still riding back and forth to work as much as I can—about 10 miles total on the days when it’s not raining—but I still haven’t run, and I haven’t been out on my bike in what feels like FOREVER.

It doesn’t help that Sally’s got plantar fasciitis.  She’s not running either.  We’re just sitting around like a pair of fat humps.  Yuck.

Anyway, the doc says that if I’m not running again by mid-January, I have to go see a knee doc and probably get my knee scoped.  Man, I do NOT want that.  But… I also don’t want to miss a bunch of time for another stupid injury, either.  Stupid injuries.  Seriously, getting older sucks a high hard one.

None of which is keeping me off my bike or out of the pool.  Or off my yoga mat.  For that, I have nothing to blame but sheer, stupid laziness.  Ugh.