Emma Christmas Mash-Up!

vs.

Ready.... FIGHT!

Christmas in the new Library

D&D Home Page - What Monster Are You? - D&D Compendium

A Hive Queen Ant?  Seriously?  Ugh.

Everything Revisited

I had a thought about Julian Assange this morning that I think must’ve been motivated by the fact that the guy just isn’t as entertaining anymore as he once was.  The interesting leaks have all but stopped, and in their place, we have to continually hear about what a bad lover he is and how he intentionally breaks condoms before having sex with casual female acquaintances.  So I’m not feeling as charitable as I once was, leading me to the following thought:

It’s a mistake for the US to try to charge Assange under criminal law.  After all, he’s not a US citizen, and what he did might therefore be rather difficult to try.  However, one could easily make the case that he’s a non-state actor, and that his actions were an Act of War.  In which case, he could be detained indefinitely—or at least until he makes personal reparations to the United States—as an Enemy Combatant.  Now, that would be an interesting case because Assange is an Australian, and no doubt, the Australian government would object to his detention on those grounds.  Obviously, they’d want to repatriate him—but without condoning his actions.  Thus, it’s possible that the Australians could charge him for treason against its allies, a charge that I think they might make stick.  I think that’d solve the US’s problems nicely. 

Of course, the thick heads in Washington always want to come across all scary and intimidating, so they’ll no doubt ignore the savvy solution—again—but that doesn’t change the fact that it exists. 

For example, I’ve never understood why they need to try all these 9/11 guys who’re in Guantanamo when the obvious solution is to declare them mentally insane and lock them up—for their own protection, obviously—in a secure Upstate mental facility, thereby discrediting their ideology in front of the world’s lunatic fringe.  *sigh*  Sadly, that sort of thing is a lost art anymore. 

But seriously, if you’re gonna violate a guy’s civil rights—and I’m not saying that you should or you shouldn’t—you should at least do it in a way that furthers your cause.

***

I read two books this week, and they’re a study in contrasts.  The first was George R.R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones.  Great book, but long.  I mean, it’s 800-pages of densely packed medieval fantasy goodness.  A lot happens.  A LOT.  Without getting into it too much, I think it’s probably the best fantasy book I’ve ever read in terms of its take on the politics of a feudal empire.  At 800-pages, Martin gives himself the space to really explore all the angles, and that, more than anything, is what makes the book work.  I really enjoyed it, but it was also a slog that made my eyes tired. 

On the side was the new hardcover (HC) Grant Morrison/Frank Quietly Batman & Robin: Batman Reborn.  To recap briefly, DC ran an event recently where Bruce Wayne, aka the Batman, gave his life to save the world.  So Batman Reborn follows Dick Grayson, the original Robin, as he sheds his Nightwing persona in order to take up the mantle of Batman.  And as with A Game of Thrones, a LOT happens. 

I tend to like Morrison’s work, especially when he works with Quietly, and I think the two of them are right on their game here.  The book is interesting, the villains are disturbing, and there’s a nice tension between Grayson and the new Robin, Damian Wayne, who’s Bruce’s illegitimate son by Talia Al Ghul (for those who don’t read the comics: she’s the daughter of the villain from the movie Batman Begins).  But here’s my issue: the whole thing is rushed.  I mean, not the execution of this particular story, but in general, the whole idea of Bruce Wayne being killed, Nightwing taking the Batman mantle to keep his mentor’s legacy alive in Gotham, and the development of Damian Wayne…  it’s all good stuff.  But it’s rushed.  We get maybe 6 or so issues of Nightwing-as-Batman, and then suddenly Bruce Wayne is reincarnated (ugh), and now, once again, here’s Big Brother, watching over everyone’s shoulder and making sure that everything is going to be alright.  Suspense?  No.  Watching as the odd-couple-in-training becomes a true partnership?  Forget it.  I mean, they could’ve gotten YEARS of play out of these ideas, and back in the 80s they would have, but these days it’s all hurry, hurry, hurry!  We’ve got to have the next mega-event, multi-title story arc.  No time for all that character crap now.  When’s Blackest Night?  When’s Brightest Day?  How soon can we start Batman, Inc.?

And these guys wonder why no one is buying comics anymore.  Why should they?  Any story decision is just gonna be overwritten by the next writer.  There’re no lasting consequences for the characters, and in the long run, that kills the story.  Why worry if Batman dies?  You know he’ll be back, probably before the Christmas buying season.  After all, we wouldn’t want to miss out on the sales peak.

But what do I know about it?  I’m only a reader anymore.  Hell, I wouldn’t even be that if it weren’t for my kids and their nascent interest in the Batman.

***

Saw the new Tron: Legacy.  I thought it was cool, but the 3D hurt my eyes after about a half-hour, and I still can’t quite rap my head around the idea of a computer system having weather and ground-effect from thrusters.  Still, I liked the way they stuck with the iconic images from the original movie.  Tron might be a goofy idea, but it was at least a goofy idea that was well-rendered.

I’m hoping to get out to see Tangled his weekend with the girls.  Maybe the 24^th.  I guess we’ll see.  Christmas gets so crazy; hopefully it won’t be like that this year.

If I’ve not said it already, have a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year.

Christmas Letter 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

Spring and summer have come and gone, and cold weather is once again upon us.  This past summer was a hot one, so that Sally and I found ourselves longing for the breezes of autumn more than once.  But now that temperatures are back down under freezing, and we’ve seen our first snowflakes of the season in Connecticut, I find myself thinking back with longing to those last sweaty days of August and the longer days that now seem almost like memories from a former life.

2010 was a good year for our family—a year of growth and change but also of stability and love and general improvement.  For me, the year’s highlights included getting a new job with my company’s System Operations department and finishing my third full season of triathlon, this time without a major illness or injury.  Over the course of the season, I did two tough Olympic distance races and a host of shorter Sprints.  I even won my age group once.  As a family, we managed to take a camping trip over a long weekend, get out for maybe a half-dozen bike rides on some of Connecticut’s beautifully restored rail-trails, and travel down to Tennessee for a week with my mother.  In the meantime, there’s been work and barbequing, and all the rest of the stuff that goes along with being a husband, father, and house-owner, the everyday things that make up a life.  I’m slowly learning to cook, and I suppose, becoming more and more domesticated every single year.  I confess that I’m kind of enjoying the process.

I think Sally’s been about ten times busier than me.  Girl Scout leader, church and library volunteer, elementary school room mother, and even… refinisher of our new library.  Yes, in late summer Sally said she wanted to turn our den into a library, complete with newly refinished window frames, hardwood accoutrements, and solid oak shelves.  And she wanted to do all the work herself.  What a project!  But I’ve got to admit that now that the work is almost done, the room looks absolutely fantastic, and I’m super-proud of her.  And yeah, oh by the way, Sally also ran the Fairfield Half-Marathon in just over two hours this past summer, and she started Hannah’s new Brownie Girl Scout Troop from scratch.  Truth is that my wife is a seriously amazing woman, and I’m just lucky as heck to have her in my life.

The kids, of course, are great.  Hannah’s seven and in second grade.  She reads or draws everything in sight, and if that doesn’t work, she’ll sing to it or even dance on top of it.  These days, she’s become an avid fan of mystery stories, especially the ABC Mysteries series and the various Scooby Doo cartoon movies.  Emma is five and in kindergarten, and I thank God Almighty that she’s recently discovered Batman and comic books.  Sometimes Emma will even sit down to watch football with me.  I joke with Sally that after almost eight years of marriage and parenting, I now finally have someone to talk to!

And that’s the news from the Head family.  I hope you and yours have a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year.

Love,

Dan, Sally, Hannah, and Emma

Storytelling 101, Lesson 1: What is a Story

My 7-year-old daughter recently asked me to teach her how to write a story.  Here was my first lesson for her.

What is a Story?

A story is a narrative about change.  Put simply, Something Happens, and our Hero can no longer live in the world as it currently is.  He or she must overcome obstacles in order to make things better, hopefully leaving the world a better place in the process.

Characters and Plot

There are many elements that make up a story, but the two primary elements are Characters and Plot.

Characters are the actors of a story.  We call a story’s main character its protagonist or hero.  It is the protagonist’s job to overcome the obstacles in our story and resolve the story’s conflict. 

If our story’s primary obstacle is another character, then we call that character the antagonist or villain.  It is the villain’s job to stand in the way of the hero, making it harder for the hero to accomplish her goals and get what she wants.

A story’s plot or conflict is the method by which its action is driven. 

Recall that the essence of a successful story is change.  A story’s plot, then, is the sequence of events that drives that change.  Or, to put it another way, the plot is the idea of the hero’s wanting or needing something, in company with the obstacles that stand in the way of her having it. 

For example, in the movie The Little Mermaid, the protagonist, Princess Ariel, wants to be human.  But there are many obstacles that stand in her way: her father, the dishonesty of the wicked octopus Ursula, the physical impossibility of a mermaid becoming a human, Ariel’s lack of familiarity with the things of the human world…  Many, many things stand in the way of Princess Ariel’s becoming human.  Thus, given Ariel’s desire to become human and the obstacles that stand in her way, we might paraphrase the movie’s plot as so:

The Little Mermaid is the story of Ariel, a mermaid princess whose longing to be human leads her to strike a bargain with the wicked witch Ursula, only to discover that in the end, Ursula plans to double-cross Arial for her own evil purposes.

The preceding statement, called a pitch statement, is a one-sentence synopsis of a story’s plot.  Although it lacks detail, it still tells us everything we need to know because it quickly summarizes:

·         Who the hero is

·         What the hero wants

·         The main obstacle that will stand in the hero’s way

To again put it another way, the pitch statement tells us not only who a story’s main character is, it also tells us why we—as an audience—should care about the story.  It tells us what makes this story special.  That, the thing that makes the story special, is the essence of plot.  It is not surprising, then, that learning to develop pitch statements for stories with which you are already familiar is a very useful exercise for beginning writers.  Knowing how to find what makes another writer’s stories work is a very good way for new writers to discover what it is in their own stories that will be of interest to their own audiences.

Exercises

1.        Think of five movies or books with which you are familiar.  Write down the names of stories below, along with the names of their protagonists.

2.        Briefly summarize the plot for your favorite two stories from the list above.  What did the main characters want?  What were the main obstacles that stood in their way?

3.        Pick one of the plots above.  Write a one-sentence pitch statement for that story.

Hint: Your pitch statement should have a basic structure similar to the following: 

Because she wants _________, (The Protagonist) does ___________, only to discover _________________.

In Search of Comics for Girls

While we're talking this morning, let me tell you my problem.  My kids have recently discovered comics.  That's good.  But they're girls, ages 7 and 5.


I ask you: what can they read that's good?

Green Lantern Trailers

Hey Alan,

You asked what I thought of the Green Lantern trailer.  Well, bottom line, I thought it looked like they decided to re-shoot Green Lantern: First Flight using live actors.  Here.  Look for yourself:

You tell me?  Same movie?  Shot from the same script?

And I liked First Flight when I saw it on Netflix, but I don't know if I liked it enough to see it again, and that's even before mentioning that the art looked better in the original.  All those CGI critters aren't my idea of a great move.

A Little Bit About Everything

Alright, so it’s been awhile.  I’m sure the pair of you reading this mighty blog must be a touch upset.  Well, the fact is that I’m still in shock at how badly the Titans’ season has gone since they picked up Randy Moss.  I mean, I don’t know that I thought that they’d be GREAT with Moss, but I certainly thought they’d be better than they’ve been.  Five game losing streak, anyone?  Seriously, it’s been hard to be a Titans fan this season.  Really hard.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about Wikileaks.  And look, there’re really only two things to say here.  First, I can’t for the life of me understand why the government is freaking out so badly about the cables being released.  I’ve been following the story pretty closely, mostly via The Guardian’s news coverage, and although I’ll admit to finding a lot of the cables fascinating, the fact is that there’s very little there that’s actually news.  In fact, I’d say that at least 95% of that stuff has already appeared elsewhere in the press, and the remaining 5% is innocuous.  And Hell, most of it promises to be actively HELPFUL for the US’s diplomacy efforts.  For example, it was news to me that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and Russian Premier Vladimir Putin are apparently close personal friends.  I don’t say that I find it surprising because there’s a sleazy sort of “me first” attitude wafting off of both men, and with that in mind, it makes sense that they might see something familiar in each other, but with that said, I didn’t actually know that they were friendly until I read it in The Guardian’s Wikileaks extracts. 

Also: I’d no idea that the Saudis have been pushing for air strikes on Iran.  I mean, it’s not surprising considering that Saudi Arabia and Iran share neither language nor culture nor history nor ethnicity, and they have only the most bare-bones facets of their religions in common, but still… I mean, you get a lot of pan-Islamic bullshit out of both places, no?  A lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth. 

But really, is it surprising that the Saudis want the US to strike Iran?  No.  Not at all.  With Sadaam out of the way, there’s really nobody left in the region to check Iranian dreams of hegemony, save the US, and the US isn’t as easy to influence as was Sadaam.  Come to think of it, the Saudis have to be sort of pissed at how things have worked out, and they’re probably just as pissed that the US Air Force hasn’t struck yet.  Not that they’d ever admit it.  Which is why this leak is actually good.  Now, the Saudis’ actual position is out in the open, and we can start to get past the aforementioned pan-Islamist bullshit that provides so much cover for so many of the bad guys of the world.

Which brings me to the second thing that surprises me about the leaks: that the government thinks that they can somehow throw Wikileaks’ founder in jail!  What’s he done, exactly?  I read that some dumb-ass senator wanted to bring Julian Assange up on charges of Treason, but you know, Assange isn’t an American.  You can’t charge a foreigner with Treason.  So maybe they can somehow charge him with violating the Espionage Act, but again, that strikes me as a little disingenuous.  I mean, they could probably charge him with Possession of Marijuana while they’re at it, but I’ve never heard of a warrant being served for something like that on a guy living in Europe.  It’s a little like having the Chinese government attempt to enforce a ban of falungong in Central Park.  I mean, I suppose they can try, but it’d be weird if it actually stuck in court.  When we get to the point where we can throw foreigners in jail for mouthing off to the government, it’ll be really scary, you know what I mean?  Because bottom line, if those guys in government wanted to keep their secrets, then they probably should’ve kept their secrets, you know, secret.  Not that there’ve been any actual secrets released—because there haven’t been—but apparently it’s the principle of the thing.  And with that in mind, it seems to me that the over-riding principle in play is the right to Freedom of Speech, the most sacrosanct right that Americans possess.  Failing that, I’ve no idea what we’re fighting for.  Freedom becomes a nebulous concept when you can’t sort of say and do the things that you want to—freely. 

But, you know, maybe I’m just getting old.  I can’t much understand what makes people mad anymore.  It all seems mighty strange to me.  Interesting.  But really, really weird.

***

I got the Greg Rucka Batwoman harcover (“Elegy”) from the Fairfield library on Saturday, and boy, was it ever better than I thought it was gonna be!  I really enjoyed it.

First off, I gotta admit that I HATED the concept of Batwoman.  I don’t know if you’re familiar with the character concept, but maybe 24 months ago, DC Comics made a big, splashy announcement that they were introducing a new character, Batwoman, and she was gonna be gay.  Fanboys rejoice!  Seriously, it seemed like all the worst things about comics rolled up into one shiny package.  Ridiculous, unrealistic play for a new minority readership?  Check.  Equally ridiculous hyper-sexuality geared to the prurience of 30-something male troglodytes too afraid to buy Hustler Magazine like normal adults?  Check again.  Gratuitous use of the Batman in order to sell even more of the same crap to the dumbest 10% of the hard core fanbase?  Yes, yes, yes!  Package it all in an over-priced hardcover?  Heh.  Why the Hell not?

So anyway, I really like Greg Rucka’s writing.  He created and wrote one of my favorite titles of all time, Oni Press’s now defunct espionage thriller Queen and Country.  I gather that he’s also a successful crime fiction novelist, but I confess that I’ve never read any of his prose work.  Regardless, Batwoman works for much the same reason that Queen and Country worked.  In both titles, Rucka creates a strong female character, one who’s driven by understandable internal conflict amongst a fantastic but fun external storyline.  His woman are tough without coming across as men-with-boobs—like characters such as Wonder Woman and Red Sonja so often do—and I think that pulling that off is pretty impressive, especially in a character who’s an out-and-out dyke, like Batwoman is. 

And she is a dyke.  Hell, that’s why the story works.

Thrown out of West Point shortly after Ring Weekend for refusing to pretend to be straight, Kate Kane is an angry young woman whose life is meaningless.  There’s a lot of other stuff working there, but bottom line, Kate is a woman who wants her life to be something more than unfocused rage, but she can’t find an outlet… until the day that Batman almost saves her from a mugging.  I say “almost” because, being a kick-ass girl hero, Kate hardly needs saving.  But Batman’s there, and he offers her a hand up when she falls to the ground.  After that, one thing leads to another, and well… I won’t spoil it for you.  There’s some sex and some violence, and thankfully, Kate wears pants and short hair in every scene.  She comes across tough, and that worked for me.  I really dug it.

My one criticism is in the art.  The artist, J.H. Williams, draws a heavily photo-referenced style in the main story, and it comes across stiff in places.  I mean, it’s beautiful and realistic, but there’s not much action or motion there, and that’s a problem because the script is action-heavy.  Williams covers it with some really creative two-page spread layouts, but while that’s fine for the art aficionados, those of us who’re regular action junkies like to see the occasional skull crack.  Personally, I much prefer the more cartoonish throwback style that Williams uses in the flashback sequences in the book’s later half—they’re highly reminiscent of the style used in Frank Miller’s classic Batman: Year One mini-series—but I suppose that wouldn’t have sold as many hardcover copies.  The majority execution looks glossy and expensive, almost like an issue of Vanity Fair, and I’m quite sure that that was better for the book’s bottom line.

Even with that one quibble with the art, I still strongly recommend the book to comic fans.  The West Point sequences are spot-on, and the rest of it is well executed, too.  Really, it’s a great read, and there’s not much else to say.  Ask your library to order it.  That’s my recommendation.

***

I get letters from parents every once in a while.  I put up an article on a triathlon website with some swimming training theory about 18 months ago along with a few sample workouts, and now I get parents emailing me maybe once every three months to ask if their kids shouldn’t be doing something similar to MY workouts instead of what their kids’ own coaches have them doing.  But although I always try to take time to respond at some length—because, bottom line, I don’t want to duck the question but I also don’t think that anyone could answer it without knowing both the kids and the coaches in question—I don’t think I’m telling these parents what they want to hear. 

Which is to say that I never hear back from these people.  What’s up with that? 

First, why in Hell would anyone email a total stranger for workouts for their kids, and second, if someone does email a stranger for workouts, and they actually get a response that involves real thought, isn’t that worth a reply?  Even if the reply is simply, “Thanks, but that was more information than I wanted?”

I know I said this before, but I really do not understand people.  Emailing some guy on the Internet is NOT going to make your kid a faster swimmer.  But if it could, I mean, the reply email couldn’t possibly be a short one.  You see that, right?  That actually makes sense?  Swimming is, like, a whole sport.  They have swimming in the Olympics and everything.

*sigh*

***

While we’re talking about sports, I gotta confess that outside of my commute, I’ve not been on my bike or done anything athletic at all since about mid-October.  Ugh, I know.  At first, it was just a knee ache, but then I got lazy.  And then it got cold.  And then I fell.  And actually, now my doctor thinks I might have a torn meniscus in my right knee.  Eh.  I’m still riding back and forth to work as much as I can—about 10 miles total on the days when it’s not raining—but I still haven’t run, and I haven’t been out on my bike in what feels like FOREVER.

It doesn’t help that Sally’s got plantar fasciitis.  She’s not running either.  We’re just sitting around like a pair of fat humps.  Yuck.

Anyway, the doc says that if I’m not running again by mid-January, I have to go see a knee doc and probably get my knee scoped.  Man, I do NOT want that.  But… I also don’t want to miss a bunch of time for another stupid injury, either.  Stupid injuries.  Seriously, getting older sucks a high hard one.

None of which is keeping me off my bike or out of the pool.  Or off my yoga mat.  For that, I have nothing to blame but sheer, stupid laziness.  Ugh.

Randy Moss is now a TITAN!

YES!

Read more at Music City Miracles!

Weekend Update

Nikki tells me that I need to update this thing, so although I secretly think that no one at all reads this, here we go.  Enjoy.

If you're wondering--and there's no reason why you should be--it seems like the dog is doing better.  She's been dealing with something, and it's led her to lick and scratch her rear left paw to the point of bleeding abscess, which led to an infection and some rather serious vet bills.  *sigh*  Between the washing machine catching on fire, replacing the windows in the used-to-be-den/soon-to-be-library, and paying veterinarian bills, this has been a Hell of an expensive month.  But what are you gonna do?  I have it on good authority that we actually NEED a washing machine, and I love my dog.  I just wish she wasn't quite so self-destructive.  It seems like a little skin irritation, aggravated by serious separation anxiety.  So there you have it, but it seems like she's doing a bit better now.

Hmmm...  I see that I never actually posted a Race Report for my last race of the season.  Well, it was a pretty good race.  We started with a rough swim.  We had maybe 20 mph of crosswind, leading to 2-ft swells in the Sound, aggravated by the fact that we had to swim out, then INTO the wind, and then back in.  It was a heck of a tough swim, but swimming is my background, and that favored me.  So we headed out, I quickly got out ahead of the pack, and toughed it out through the swim.  Got out of the water, through transition, and as I headed out on my bike, people were cheering like crazy.  "You're in 5th!" on lady yelled, "Go, go, go!"

5th?  That was awesome!  Ah, a moment of glory.  I put my head down and went.

It was a 10-mile ride on a flat, 4-lap course with wind.  I'm no big fan of wind, but it's easier for me than hills, and as I was coming into T-2, folks were again screaming.  This time: "You're in 12th!"

12th?  At the END of the bike in a highly competitive race with 400 entrants?  WOW!

Of course, the run was, as ever, my downfall.  I still finished about 50th overall and was I think 8th out of about 50 in my age group, so I can't complain.  But alas... I just can't seem to hold that edge when I get it.

*sigh*

Meanwhile, Sellswords is still going strong.  We're in the final battle of the Heroic tier now.  Ginagel is making his Last Stand, and after that will come the big Fiesta.  I wrote that Svirfneblin Homebrew piece specifically for an NPC I'm building for Sellswords, but I only posted it here because the formatting on the D&D official forum is difficult to use.  Anyway, if you're at all interested in D&D, feel free to check it out and give feedback.

*whistles*  *crickets*

So yeah, I've been biking back-and-forth from the train station at 125th Street to my office on West 66th, for maybe 6 weeks now.  It's 4.7-miles one way, about 20 minutes of riding through Harlem and Upper West Side traffic, giving me a total of a little more than 10-miles of riding every day.  Which is awesome.  Often, it's the best part of my day.  I use a folding bike, a Dahon Speed 8.  It's not the world's greatest bike, but it's not bad, and I've been digging it.  Mostly.  Sometimes people suck.  But what are you gonna do?  It's New York.  That shit is gonna happen.
 
Finally, Sally and I watched Hot Tub: Time Machine last night.  Awesome flick.  I highly recommend it for the 30-something set.  Younger folks might miss the appeal.  But, y'know, who cares?  They're too busy texting each other to notice, no?

So there you have it.  Tomorrow is Halloween.  I'll be going as Shaggy.  Sally will be Fred.  Hannah is Velma, and Emma is Daphne.  The dog, of course, is Scooby Doo.  If I get a chance, I'll drop a few pics.

Have a nice weekend.

Homebrew Magic: Svirfneblin

Svirfneblin

Clever denizens of the Underdark who survive through skill, stealth, and cunning.

RACIAL TRAITS

  Average Height: 3’0” to 3’6”

  Average Weight: 50 – 80 lbs.

Ability Scores: +2 DEX, +2 to CON or WIS

Size: Small

Speed: 5 squares

Vision: Darkvision

Languages: Common, Deep Speech

Skill Bonuses: +2 to Dungeoneering, +2 to Stealth

Pick Proficiency:  You gain proficiency with the War Pick and Light War Pick.

Fey Origin: Your ancestors were native to the Feywild, so you are considered a fey creature for the purpose of effects that relate to creature origin.

Stone Cunning: When underground, you can use Dungeoneering instead of Perception to make Perception checks.

Earthwalk: You ignore difficult terrain that is rubble, uneven stone, or an earthen construction.

Merge with Stone: You can use Merge with Stone as an encounter power.

Merge with Stone                                                                                                                               Svirfneblin Racial Power

Encounter  +

Minor Action        Personal

Effect:  You move 3 squares or shift 1 square and can pass into and through squares occupied by obstacles made of stone, including surrounding stone walls and floors.  This effect lasts until the end of your next turn. If the obstacle that you move into is larger than you are, you can end your movement inside the obstacle. If you do, you remain alive and aware of your surroundings, but you cannot be seen or attacked. The only actions you can take are to make Perception checks or to shift into an unoccupied square as a move action.  When this effect ends, you must shift into an unoccupied square at the start of your next turn.

The Underdark is a wild and unforgiving place, filled with a host of comparatively large and powerful enemies.  Svifneblin, or deep gnomes as they are also called, survive by being clever, subtle, and often invisible to their enemies.  They are at home amidst the horrors of the underworld, building strong communities tied together by a sense of civic commitment and joy-in-life.  As such, deep gnomes have become deeply tied to the earth in which they live.  They are unparalleled stone workers, with a natural affinity for the earth that surpasses even that of the dwarves.

Play a Svirfneblin if you want...

    to be stealthy, clever, and curious.

    to be more at home in the wilds of the Underdark than in the forests of the world above.

    to be a member of a race that favors the ranger, seeker, tempest-fighter, and cleric classes.

PHYSICAL QUALITIES

Deep gnomes are smaller than halflings, smaller even than their surface world cousins.  They rarely exceeding 3 ½ feet in height but can vary widely in girth and musculature.  Apart from their size, svirfneblin are grey-skinned and almost hairless.  Some svirfneblin have a shock of white hair atop their heads; others are bald.  Their eyes are white with neither iris nor pupil.

Like most fey creatures, deep gnomes are typically long-lived, living over 300 years.  As they age, they can become wizened and bent, but even the most ancient svirfneblin retain their native subtlety, agility, and cunning.

PLAYING A SVIRFNEBLIN

Deep gnomes dwell in small town-like communities called burrows located deep in the Underdark.  Their governments tend to be republican, with elected officials known as Burrow Wardens serving both as civic leader and military defender.  A council of burrow wardens rule a svirfneblin burrow, acting in service to the greater good of the community. 

Svirfneblin are wary of outsides, but they can be friendly and even approachable if met under circumstances they deem to be safe and appropriate. 

Like their surface cousins, unobtrusiveness is a virtue among svirfneblin.  Svirfneblin prize cleverness and the ability to stay hidden, but they are far more civic-minded than their surface cousins and more willing to fight to defend their homes and their society’s place in the greater community in which they are located.  Svirfneblin aggressively patrol the tunnels around their burrows, ambushing their enemies in tight spaces where small size and the ability to Merge with Stone are prime assets.  A svirfneblin patrol is fully capable of beating off a drow raid if it can strike from ambush.

Deep gnomes are adept, enthusiastic artisans and traders.  Though it is nigh unheard of to see a svirfneblin in the World Above, deep gnome traders travel the length and breadth of the Underdark, trading gems, bulk ore, and precious metals in return for rothe and other foodstuffs as well as information and basic protection from other Underdark communities.  Though svirfneblin can be capable combatants, they often find it easier wiser in the long term to befriend potential enemies through trade.

Svirfneblin Characteristics: Clever, community-minded, loyal, guarded, inconspicuous, inventive, sly, and hard-working.

Male Names: Belwar, Brocc, Eldon, Guliver, Orryn, Peck, Sidari, Warryn.

Female Names: Breena, Carlin, Donella, Ella, Lilli, Lorilla, Nissa, Nyx, Oda, Orla, Roswyn, Tana, Zanna.

Not published.  This is Homebrew.

Svirfneblin Feats

Deadly Darkvision

Prerequisite: Darkvision, training in dungeoneering.

Effect: You gain a +1 feat bonus to damage rolls when you are in areas of low-light or darkness. 

At 11th level, this bonus increases to +2. At 21st level, it increases to +3.

Deep Gnome of the Feywild

Prerequisite: Svirfneblin

Effect: You gain the Gnome racial abilities Reactive Stealth and Fade Away.  If you have cover or concealment at the start of an encounter, you can make a Stealth check.  Also, during a given encounter, you can use either Fade Away or Merge with Stone as your racial encounter power.

Earthwalker

Prerequisite: Svirfneblin

When you use your Merge with Stone racial ability, you can move your speed through squares filled with rock or stone.  When you shift out of the stone, you can shift a number of squares equal to your Wisdom modifier.

Stone Sense

Prerequisite: Svirfneblin

Effect: You do not grant combat advantage to adjacent enemies that you cannot see when both you and your enemy are underground and standing on rock, stone, or earth.  When you are underground, and you target an adjacent enemy that you cannot see, and both you and your enemy are standing on rock, stone, or earth, you take a -3 penalty to your attack roll instead of -5.

Svirfneblin Warrior Training

Prerequisite: Svirfneblin

Effect: You gain proficiency with the Light War Hammer, can treat the Light War Pick as a Light Blade, and treat the Gnome Hook Hammer as a Martial Weapon.  Additionally, you gain a +2 feat bonus to damage rolls with all picks and hammers.

  

Svirfneblin Superior Weapons

Gnome Hook-Hammer

Superior double melee weapon

Cost: 15 gp

Damage: d8 (main end), d6 (off-hand end)

Proficiency: +2/+2

Range: melee

Weight: 4 lbs.

The gnome hook-hammer is a double weapon sized for small creatures.  The main end is a War Hammer (sized for a small creature, dealing d8 damage).  The off-hand end is a Light War Pick (sized normally, dealing d6 damage).

Properties:

Hammer End

-          Defensive (A defensive weapon grants you a +1 bonus to AC while you wield the defensive weapon in one hand and wield another melee weapon in your other hand. Wielding more than one defensive weapon does not increase this bonus. To gain this benefit, you need not attack with the defensive weapon, but you must be proficient with it.)

Pick End

-          High Crit (A high crit weapon deals more damage when you score a critical hit with it. A critical hit deals maximum weapon damage and an extra 1[W] at 1st–10th levels, an extra 2[W] at 11th–20th levels, and an extra 3[W] at 21st–30th levels. This extra damage is in addition to any critical damage the weapon supplies if it is a magic weapon.).

-          Off-Hand (An off-hand weapon is light enough that you can hold it and attack effectively with it while holding a weapon in your main hand. You can’t attack with both weapons in the same turn, unless you have a power that lets you do so, but you can attack with either weapon.).

 Svirfneblin Paragon Paths

 Burrow Warden

“To arms!  There are intruders in the tunnels!”

Prerequisite: Svirfneblin

Burrow Wardens are the elected leaders of svirfneblin communities.  Part ruler, part noble, part knight-errant, the burrow warden is both defender of the community and arbiter of internal community disputes.  They are powerful warriors who succeed by stealth, cunning, and force-of-arms amidst the dangerous world of Underdark.

BURROW WARDEN PATH FEATURES

    Warden’s Action (11th level): When you spend an action point, you regain the use of your Merge with Stone racial power or any power that you can use in place of Merge with Stone.

    Svirfneblin Weapons Expert (11th level): When wielding a pick or a hammer, you can score a critical hit on a roll of either 19 or 20.

    Gnomish Stealth Adept (16th level): You gain the use of the gnome racial power Fade Away.  You can use both Fade Away and Merge with Stone during the same encounter.

Grasping Earth                                                                                                                      Burrow Warden Attack 11

You slam your weapon into your foe, knocking him to the ground.  The earth itself then rises up to hold him down.

Encounter + Arcane, Weapon

Standard Action   Melee Weapon

Attack: Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution vs. Fortitude

Hit: 1[W] + Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution modifier damage, and you knock the target prone.  The target is then immobilized and cannot stand up until the end of your next turn.

Earthsense                                                                                                                            Burrow Warden Utility 12

Your connection to the earth allows you to turn the tables.  Instead of being ambushed, you become the ambusher.

Encounter + Arcane

Minor Action        Personal

Effect: You gain blindsight to the end of your next turn.  If you would have granted combat advantage to an enemy that you could not see, that enemy now grants combat advantage to you instead.

Grasping Earth                                                                                                                      Burrow Warden Attack 20

You strike and dance away, eluding a foe’s counterattacks even as you set up your next strike.

Daily + Illusion, Weapon

Standard Action      Melee weapon

Target: One creature

Attack: Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution vs. AC

Hit: 2[W] + Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution modifier damage, and you become invisible to the target (save ends).

Miss: Half damage.

Effect: You can shift 1 square.  For this shift, you can shift into an adjacent square that is filled with stone, per your Merge with Stone power. Until the end of the encounter, whenever the target moves or shifts into a square that is adjacent to you, you can shift 1 square as an Immediate Reaction, either into an adjacent empty square or into an adjacent square that is filled with stone, per your Merge with Stone power.  Whenever you shift into stone, you must shift into an empty square at the start of your next turn.

Earthmage

“The earth is my ally.”

Prerequisite: Svirfneblin, any Controller or Leader class

With their close ties to the earth, svirfneblin mages, clerics, and shamans can learn to manipulate stone and rock in ways that other races simply cannot understand.  Earthmages serve as the heavy-hitters in svirfneblin combat patrols, using their powers to shape the battlefield in ways that benefit their allies and summoning powerful earth elementals to aid the deep gnomes in battle.

In their burrows, earthmages typically serve as svirfneblin religious or spiritual leaders.

EARTHMAGE PATH FEATURES

   Earthwalker (11th level): You gain the Earthwalker feat.

   Earthmage’s Action (11th level): When you spend an action point, you can shift a number of squares equal to your Wisdom modifier, and each ally within 5 squares of you can shift 1 square..

   Rocky Ground (16th level): At the start of each encounter, choose one ally you can see within 5 squares.  Enemies treat squares adjacent to that ally as difficult terrain.

Earthblast                                                                                                                                              Earthmage Attack 11

The earth explodes amidst your enemies, sowing confusion and disarray.

Encounter + Varies, Implement, Thunder

Standard Action   Ranged 10

Attack: Intelligence or Wisdom vs. Fortitude

Hit: 2d8 + Intelligence or Wisdom modifier damage. Make a secondary attack that is an area burst 1 centered on the primary target.

  Secondary Target: Each enemy in burst other than the primary target

  Secondary Attack: Wisdom vs. Fortitude

  Hit: You push the secondary target 1 square and knock it prone.

Capturing Landscape                                                                                                                           Earthmage Utility 12

The very earth rises up to aid your cause.

Encounter + Varies, Zone

Minor Action      Close burst 3

Effect: The burst creates a zone of blasted, rocky nightmare terrain that lasts until the end of the encounter. Enemies treat squares within the zone as difficult terrain, and allies within the zone gain partial cover.

Summon Earth Elemental                                                                                                                  Earthmage Attack 20

You strike and dance away, eluding a foe’s counterattacks even as you set up your next strike.

Daily + Implement, Summoning

Standard Action      Ranged 5

Effect: You summon a Large Earth Elemental in an unoccupied space within range. The earth elemental has speed 5 and ignores difficult terrain. You and your allies gain a +2 power bonus to AC while within 2 squares of the earth elemental. You can give the elemental the following special command:

  Standard Action: Melee 2; targets one creature; Intelligence or Wisdom vs. Reflex

  Hit: 2d8 + Intelligence or Wisdom modifier damage.

Instinctive Effect: If you haven’t given the earth elemental any commands by the end of your turn, it attacks an enemy within 2 squares of it if it can.  This attack deals 1d8 + Intelligence or Wisdom modifier damage.  If the earth elemental cannot make an attack without moving, it moves its speed to a square where it is within 2 squares of as many allies as possible.

Deep Trader

“I go where the money is.”

Prerequisite: Any Underdark-based background, training in Stealth or Dungeoneering

Despite its dangers, trade is an essential part of life in the Underdark.  You are a deep trader, one of the courageous adventurers who ties the disparate communities of the underworld together.  But the Underdark is a dangerous place, and you know that you’ll not long survive without stealth and cunning and wealth useful survival tricks.

DEEP TRADER PATH FEATURES

   Underworld Expert (11th level): You gain training in one of the following skills: Stealth, Dungeoneering, Perception, or Streetwise.  In addition, you gain fluency in Deep Speech.  If you are already fluent in Deep Speech, you gain fluency in another language: Dwarven, Goblin, or Giant.

   Vanishing Action (11th level): When you are underground and spend an action point to take an extra action, you can shift 3 squares either before or after you take the extra action.  If you end your shift with any cover or concealment, even partial cover provided by an ally, you can make a Stealth check.  You can use your Dungeoneering score instead of your Stealth score for the purposes of this check.

    Blindsense (16th level): You have blindsight out to a distance of 2 squares + your Wisdom modifier, meaning you can clearly see creatures or objects within the range and within line of effect, even if they are invisible or obscured.

Darkside Ambush                                                                                                                                Deep Trader Attack 11

You hide in the shadows and strike when it’s least expected.

Encounter + Varies

Standard Action   Melee or Ranged

Requirement: You must be hidden from the target.

Attack: You make a basic attack.  On a hit, your attack deals +1[W] or 1 extra die of damage. 

Effect: You can shift 3 squares either before or after the attack.  If you end your shift with any cover or concealment, even partial cover provided by an ally, you can make a Stealth check.  You can use your Dungeoneering score instead of your Stealth score for the purposes of this check.

Cloaked in Shadow                                                                                                                              Deep Trader Utility 12

You vanish into the shadowy clefts of the natural rock and stone around you

Encounter  + Varies

Minor Action      Personal

Requirement: You must be adjacent to a wall or other large stone feature, such as a column, boulder, or stalagmite.

Effect: You are hidden to any enemies that aren’t adjacent to you. You remain hidden until you move or attack.

Concealing Shot                                                                                                                                   Deep Trader Attack 20

You strike hard and disappear, leaving your enemy guessing.

Daily + Varies

Standard Action      Melee or Ranged

Attack: You use an at-will attack power. 

Hit: Your attack deals +2[W] or 2 extra die of damage.

Miss: Half damage.

Effect: You become invisible to the target until the end of your next turn.  In addition, whenever you hit the target before the end of the encounter, you become invisible to it until the end of your next turn.

Last Race of the Season

My last triathlon of the season starts in about 3 hours!  Hooray!  And with that in mind, we've started putting together our race list for this Fall and Winter.  It's down at the link below if you're curious:

Family Race Calendar

Odds and Ends

I finally got my folding bike in the mail, and while I’ll admit that it’s awesome, I also have to note that riding every day in Manhattan is a Hell of an intense experience.  Between the cars, traffic lights, and the general lunacy of driving—or riding!—in the City, it’s been fun but maybe also a little more exciting than I would have preferred.  Also, I’d always thought of Manhattan as flat, but there are several long, low hills between my office and the train station on 125^th Street, and it’s a struggle for me to force myself not to attack them every time I come up to one.  Ugh.  So far, I’ve not managed to make it into the office without being drenched in sweat, but I have high hopes.

Speaking of riding, I did a triathlon last week, the Westport Minuteman Triathlon, and finished 7^th overall and 3^rd in my Age Group.  Not bad.   It was my second time in the Top 3 for my Age Group this season.  I was lucky because the race was short—shorter than a regular Sprint—and far more evenly balanced than normal.  Which is to say that the Swim was a full half-mile, but the Ride was only 5.5 miles, and the Run was only 2.2 miles.  So being 3^rd out of the water really helped me, and being middle-of-the-pack on the run didn’t hurt me nearly as badly as it usually does. 

Here are some stats, and in presenting them, I should note that the transition times aren’t broken out separately.  So T-1 is included in the Bike result and T-2 is included in the Run.

Swim (1/2 Mile): 10:58.  3/204 Overall; 1/16 Age Group.

Bike (5.5 Miles):  16.22.  11/193 Overall; 3/16 AG.

Run (2.2 Miles): 19:04.  81/181 Overall; 10/16 AG.

Total:  46:23.  7/181 Overall; 3/16 AG.

Don’t ask me why so many more folks finished the Swim than the Run.  Either they missed the cut-off time or dropped out of the race, but in a race that’s that short, either one of those seems weird to me. But it was a funky timing system, and the race itself was not over-burdened with administration, so who knows?

As a last note, I was on business in Schenectady, NY, last week (13-17 September), and WOW!  What a crappy town that is.  Class was boring, I got a pinch-flat on my bike on my first day in town, and all the bars and restraints were DEAD.  Hell, to be honest, it looked to me like half the buildings in town were vacant.  There was even a shooting outside the main hotel—the nicest place in town!—the night before I left.  Ugh.  Not fun.  But I’m home now, and all is well, and I suppose that’s all that matters.

How’re things with you?

Some pics from recent trail rides

I downloaded some pics off our digital camera today from yesterday's ride with Sally and the girls.  Then I downloaded a couple more from another ride we did last week.  Enjoy!

Me and the girls

Sally and the girls

Hannah lookin' stylish

Emma with Hannah in the background.  Little goofy, no?

More girl goofiness!